Don’t be everybody’s darling – it is ok to disagree
With a lot of things constantly happening and changing around us, it is natural for human beings to have and form opinions. This is a good thing, as it allows us to reflect and exchange ideas with others around us. However, especially since social media came into our world, we are concerned to say our opinions freely, especially when those do not follow the current mainstream. We often think that if we align with everybody else and follow the mainstream – we will become more successful, accepted and integrated in our social environments. However, the opposite is the case. The key is to be authentic and not to follow the mainstream all the time just to be everybody’s darling.
A lot of people however think, exactly that, to agree and live harmonious with everyone around us is the ultimate desired state. Far from it. We need to learn again to disagree, debate and feel like it is ok to have opinions and views that sometimes might seem controversial. If we talk like everybody else - we are like everybody else. Instead, we should be authentic, ourselves and state our opinions openly and with self-confidence, even if it means people around us disagree.
Of course, there are some things that are not debatable. Thins like war or violence should never be painted in a positive light and our opinions should not violate basic human and societal principles that we all should agree on.
As an example, very often people ate afraid of challenging their managers at work both in a social and professional way. They feel like they cannot speak freely about their ideas and opinions. They think they are doing the right thing in avoiding confrontation and conflict, not realizing, that they hinder the entire team to develop the best possible ideas to move forward. The contrary needs to happen, there needs to be a safe space, where people can exchange ideas freely, can disagree, even sometimes argue but all of this will result in the best possible concepts and ways to move forward for everyone.
Debates are therefore healthy. They are something positive that can lead to progress and moving things forward. It is ok to disagree and to be of different opinions then people around us. This can lead to discovering different angles and see new ways to develop ideas.
However, while debates are great, it is important that we don’t fall from one extreme into the next and just disagree for the sake of it. The key is authenticity. Being authentic, saying what we truly believe in and stating our reasons in a truthful way is the most progressive way forward. If those views clash with others, fine, as long as they are authentic. Being authentic means sticking to our values and core beliefs and forming our opinions from there. If our views are truly authentic, other might not always agree, however they will be able to understand out point of views and a healthy debate can evolve. We will see that being authentic will lead us to being integrated and accepted much more than not agreeing with everybody around us, even if not coming form the heart and reflecting our true views.
We need to learn to disagree again and that is it ok to, if we are authentic in our views and opinions. We don’t need to be everybody’s darling, in fact, it is the least desirable for our own development and success both in our professional and social life.
