How to negotiate sucessfully
For many people, especially women, negotiation is a difficult topic that we like to avoid talking about. However, it is an essential leadership skill.
The motto with negotiations must be “if you don’t ask you don’t get”. Many people always associate negotiation with conflict, however this is barely true. Negotiations are usually something positive and progressive where both parties want to achieve their best interests. This sounds very egoistic at first, however usually in the from of a compromise a negotiation brings about something good for both parties, which is when we talk about the classic win-win.
To achieve the win - win and have a progressive process of negotiation, finding a compromise that works for both parties without any one of them loosing face or giving away too much is the underlying key factor. If we want to negotiate, we must be willing to compromise at the same time. Compromise comes about through listening to the other party, showing understanding for their points, while at the same time standing firm for points that are very important for us. Compromise works as both parties have different points that are important to them, for example some people when looking for a new job value pay the most, while for others work life balance is key.
Besides self-confidence as well as willing to compromise, the third most important factor for negotiations is the right preparation even before. The idea is to clearly formulate and best to write down exactly what we want to get out of the negotiation. It helps to think in scenarios here, like best middle and worst-case scenario, depending on how much or little the other party is willing to compromise and move into our direction. Furthermore, define red lines, which are things you absolutely cannot compromise on. Once these points are clear you are very well prepared to go into negotiating. Important here as well, expectations must be realistic and well researched.
A good preparation also helps to structure the negotiation process and not loose track of a clear agenda. It helps to have a red line during negotiations when we feel like we are about to lose focus a little.
Lastly, during negotiations it is very important to take a break in between, especially when reaching a dead end at some point. Breaks where parties talk about something else then the core parts of negotiations, can help ease things up a little. Taking a bit of a step back for some fresh air, from time to time can be a real game changer to find great compromises.
Overall, we must stop associating negotiations with conflict and negativity. Negotiations can mean progress, compromise, and win - win situations that can lead to a way forward for both parties. Preparation, showing self-confidence, having a clear agenda as well as the willingness to compromise are key ingredients to make negotiations a success for all. Also taking a break from time to time can be of great help.
