Learn to live with the “Cruella” inside of you
We are living in a world, where it is necessary to prove to others that we are almost perfect. We are perfect in managing our work life, our family life as well as our love life. Far from it. We all have good and bad days, and we should learn to accept and live with that. We cannot always project to be in a good mood or have a great day, things in life happen and that’s good. The question is do we accept that we are not perfect or do we deny it and keep pretending. The good news, as always, we have an active choice.
The first step is to learn to accept and even to an extend like our imperfection. We need to say goodbye to that perfect image of ourselves we have and learn to like the little odd things about us that don’t quite fit into the picture. Once we have gone through this phase of reflection and acceptance, it will help us to love ourselves as we are, and we come to the realization that it is ok to have good and bad days.
Once we agree on this, it is good to describe ourselves and our character on a good day and on a bad day. This will help us to consciously distinguish good and bad days, as well as navigate our reactions to them over time. It is almost like having a split personality. Who are we on a good day and who are we on a bad day? And how do we want to be?
For example, I have assigned concrete names to my way of being on a good day and a bad day. On a bad day, the side of me that is very anxious, stressed and often gets me down is my inner “Cruella”. Cruella comes out whenever I have a bad day at work, or something happens in my life that stresses me. Cruella is a fixed part of my personality that comes out on a bad day or in stressful situations. To assign a name or a figure to that state of mind, helps to consciously become aware of when we are stressed, as well as to be aware of reactions we have to those situations. By exactly knowing when Cruella is most active, we can learn to anticipate in what situations or circumstances we get stressed, which allows us to consciously control and improve our reactions to those circumstances.
We will see, that over time, Cruella will become less and less important in our life. We will leave Cruella less room to take over our character as we learn to control our stress levels as well as our reactions to problems or conflicts. The goals is however not to wipe Cruella out completely, she will always be there, but do give her less meaning and room in our day to day lives. It will help us handle stress better and live a healthier life that will provide more satisfaction and happiness in the long term.
We however also must learn to accept that Cruella is a sum of the things we don’t like of ourselves. Our imperfections that make us stand out and special. We, therefore, in a world where perfection is seen more and more desirable, must accept our inner Cruella being a fixed part of us that we have to learn to live with. Maybe one day we even learn to like her a little bit, on our path to learn to love ourselves as we are. Cruella is part of our authentic “me” and she can help us see things clearer and be alert when we go through a period of increased challenges or stress.
We are all not perfect, and to love ourselves we need to learn to accept this. It helps to visualize good and bad characteristics or reactions in a named character. We can learn to live with our inner “Cruella”, if we are only aware that she will always be a part of us.
