Stop trying to be perfect - it is the best decision you will take
In a world of Instagram and Facebook, we increasingly feel that everybody around us appears to be perfect. People look perfect, they seem to have the perfect careers or perfectly manage the struggle between family and me time. Living in an environment that constantly praises us to be the best we can be and sees it as being normal for us to tick all the boxed of a successful life at the same time, leads to the belief in us that it is the most desirable to live a perfect life - well guess what - it is exactly the opposite.
Our world we live in is based on fundamental values and beliefs that have been established for centuries but very often those do not have a lot in common with the current reality of our lives. As an example, the role of women has changed fundamentally throughout the years. In a time where women were not having careers and mainly responsible for the family, the image emerges for it to be a woman’s duty primarily to be the perfect mother and home maintainer. However, women have their own careers, ambitions and their life has become a lot more complex in a constant juggle between family, career and maintaining their homes.
The problem is that a lot of those stereotypes that are not compliant with our current lives anymore still exist and provide the role models we have and the foundations for a dangerous desire for perfectionism to fulfill all the things those stereotypes and fundamental values in society require us to be. Phrases like “this is what a woman does” or “this is expected of me” are typical indicators that drives our desire to be perfect by fulfilling all obligations seen as “normal” in society.
The strange thing here is, the more we try to fulfill those desires to be perfect in the eye of our surroundings, the more unhappy we often feel. The reason is, that very often we feel anxious, under constant stress to fulfill our own expectations and some people even feel they cannot be authentic and their full self. However, being authentic and our true self is fundamental for living a happy life.
The desire to be perfect is therefore exactly the wrong thing for us to do. The simple truth is, we can never be perfect - it is frankly impossible to be and we should therefore not even try it. When we desire to be perfect, the first question to ask ourselves, is perfect for who? Our perfectionism very often starts from within us, emerging from people placing external stereotypes or values on us that very often not correspond very well to our own. We need to therefore learn to question our own desire for perfectionism and learn to manage our expectations.
We can never be perfect, but we can try and perform in the best of our ability. The good new is - this will always be enough. We therefore must go through a change in perspective of trying to meet unrealistic expectations and be more realistic about our abilities and what we can possibly achieve for ourselves. It is therefore ok not to always operate on the highest standards, it is ok to fail and to not fulfill our own high expectations from time to time.
The decision to be perfect is the worst we can take. It is not about perfect; it is about being the best we can possible be and managing things in our best ability. This will lead to us still being motivated, but it helps us to move away from fulfilling unrealistic values and expectations from our surrounding that very often are not in line with our life’s today. This will be the best decision we make in order to life a fulfilled life.
