Don’t only focus on your needs - that of others are just as important
This week marks week 10 for me as a mother. I would lie to say the past weeks have not been a rollercoaster of emotions. Most of them amazing but some days were a real challenge as well. There were as always good days and bad and what is of tremendous importance is a strong network of support. However, very often in challenging times we are so busy focusing on our needs and challenges that we forget to also focus on those needs of the helpers and supporters around us. However, this is just as important as they can only support us as much as we also care for their well being. It is therefore not just important to focus on our needs in challenging times but also on those of others.
I see this very often in couples. Couples go through different phases in life and as we already say in marriage have good times and bad times they face. This makes it very easy to loose yourself. Each partner keep focusing on their needs and their challenges, however only few of us have social antennas to also see if our partner needs support and is facing challenges. However, we need to realise that only when we offer help and support can we expect the same when we need it from others.
Our society that is getting more and more egoistic and self centred does not make this any easier. We are driven by our images on social media and are thought to focus on self optimisation from a very early stage in our life. This is in direct contradiction to the idea of focusing on those around us. Of course we should not loose ourselves and keep an eye on our inner happiness and balance. However, it is easy to forget that others around us have needs and require support as well. The message here is if we demand to be supported by our partner or people close to us - we need to give them support and be there for their needs first. Our support will eventually be echoed by them and even if not we should still keep providing it.
Every single one of us facing challenging times in life. That’s part of the game kind of. Another fact in this context is that we all need help and support. So rather than being self centred on only my needs as a mother, I should also focus on those of my partner, my family and those supporters around me with this new chapter. This way I value them and show them respect which is key for their continuous support. Life is not all about is - it is also about those around us that support us and are there for us every day. This is sometimes not easy - and we should value that every day.
In good times and in bad - it is a two sided road remember that where we take and we give to the needs of others too . Then we will feel supported and achieve emotional balance and well being in our relationships based on each others needs.
