It is not what we say – very often it is the how that makes all the difference
People communicate all the time. It is an essential part of our life and of our personalities. Communication defines our society and how we live in relationships with each other. However, while we would all agree on the overall importance of communication, many of us underestimate the value of it and the impact words have on our life and that of others. Important in this context, communication does not only include verbal comms but also non – verbal, this includes body language and emotions we are trying to convey through our communication channels every day. Communication is a lot more complex than we think – it is an art.
The question to ask then, is how can we master the art of communication? Well, you guessed it this is not something easy or quick to learn and varies based on the person we talk to and the context we are in. Also, some of us have a more natural talent to communicate than others. However, the good news, there are some basic tools we can learn and apply to communicate effectively.
What does it even mean to communicate effectively or successfully? It usually means we are understood or appreciated by others, and we get to where we want to be with that person in a positive way in the end. For many, it also means getting what we want from others, however we must be careful that we then don’t misuse communication for manipulative purposes here.
To understand how to successfully communicate we must look at the flow of communication. Only 7% of our communication is verbal, 55% is nonverbal. Communication is all about the encoding and the decoding of messages via certain channels we use. One person says something which is the encoding of a message, and another then must decode this message and interpret it in a certain way. The problem her is very often, that the encoding and decoding in not interpreted in the same way, which can lead to misunderstanding and misinterpretations. We all have different backgrounds and ways of communication, and it is important to realize that and based on that adjust our ways of communicating to other based on their background, experiences, and preferences. Communication is therefore always a two-way street, where we don’t only have to consider our way of saying something, but also think about how it might be received by others.
Problems can especially occur with written communication in this context. It might be that an email a manager writes to us, is interpreted very differently by us than by the person who sent it. Our tone is therefore essential as well as being open and transparent in our communication. Rather than writing an email that can be interpreted in many ways, it is therefore always better to communicate in person, especially for important or even difficult conversations. Face to face, we have much more room for emotions, non – verbal communication signals as well as other factors that will create a good atmosphere and ways to communicate.
Communication therefore is an art that we constantly have to learn and develop to master. People that master the art of communication will get very far and develop into great leaders, as they will be highly appreciated by their peers. They seem to be charismatic and usually seem to get what they want – however, most of the time they get there just by being great communicators of their interest and desires in front of others. Communication is part of every aspect of our lives - time to learn to master it and appreciate its value. Communication is not something to take for granted in both our professional as well as our personal life.
