Learning to set goals
A goal is defined as something we are trying to reach or achieve. Goals are very personal, individualistic and are often linked to progress, development, and change. Furthermore, the actual achievement of goals leads us to be happy, fulfilled and seen as successful in the eyes of others. So why then are we so afraid of setting ourselves goals and many of us avoid them at all costs?
The answer is twofold. One, many people fear the feeling of failure and try to avoid it. If we set goals, we have an ability to reflect ourselves and measure our progress and achievements, however, goals also result in us to be honest with ourselves and potential failures become much clearer. People generally fear failure and it is therefore easier for them to avoid setting goals in the first place.
The second reason, for not setting ourselves goals besides fear of failure, is many of us not knowing how to set goals that are effective, realistic and won’t lead into frustration of not achieving them very quickly. There are however a few easy learnings that we can apply when setting goals to also become more successful in achieving them. We have to overcome the fear of failure as well as learn how to set goals correctly, as they are of fundamental importance in our lives, for our personal development and for our long-term overall happiness and fulfilment.
To overcome the fear of failure, we have to stop seeing it as a threat but as an opportunity to grow. We always associate failure with negativity; however, we have to understand that failure in itself can be something positive that can already help us to reflect, grow and already in itself lead us closer to finding happiness and inner fulfilment. Failing to achieve our goals therefore should not stop us from setting them in the first place.
Once we overcame the fear of failure as an excuse not to set goals, we have to learn how to set the right ones. The first task is to reflect on what we want to achieve which should always reflect our current external circumstances, as well as take into account personal values and opinions we hold. Then, we need to make our goals as specific as we can. This means, establishing realistic, numerical goals, where we can easily measure their achievement. Another important factor is to write our goals down, which allows us to regularly reflect on progress of achieving them as well as if those goals we put together are still right for us as our external circumstances constantly change. It is good and ok for goals to regularly change; they are not constant. Lastly, goals should be realistic. Goals are not dreams and have to be often small but realistic steps towards change and achievement.
Overall, many of us shy away from setting goals. Mainly because of fear of failure as well as a lack of knowledge how to set goals that actually can be achieved over time. However, goals are fundamental to help us develop and achieve. Fear of failure can be turned into seeing failure not as a threat but an opportunity. After, we can learn how to set the right goals, by making them numerical, realistic and writing them down, in order to regularly go back and reflect on them. If we follow all of those steps, goals can be fun for us to work with rather than a barrier.
