Sometimes you have to distance yourself from the ones you love the most

I read a very good quote this week from Anthony Hopkins who said that sometimes you have to learn in life to shut down the people you love the most from your thoughts - so only surround yourself with people that love you and appreciate you as you are. I find this very beautiful as it describes something that can be the most difficult - to shut out or minimise contact with people around us that on the one hand we love and want to spend time with while we know taking everything they say for granted is the worst we can do for our mental piece and happiness. We therefore sometimes have to bite the bullet and distance ourselves.

Now how do you do this as this is clearly easier said than done. The first thing we have to understand is that not the people around us will or have to change but we have ti change or adjust how we handle them. That means the work is on us and not on them. This is at the same time the most coming errors people make in relationships, that they assume the other person can or will change. In my personal opinion, pretty much from when we are 14 we don’t change anymore, our personalities are set and traits good and bad that we have will only become stronger and more prominent with age. This we need to understand, as it means we cannot expect people around us that are older than teenagers basically to change and adjust for us.

Once we come to that realisation, what follows is the knowledge that the work from now on is on us . We have to find a way how to handle those interchangeable traits from people around us.

One way to do this, is distance. This however is incredible hard when the people we struggle with for our own happiness are very close to us. However, very often we struggle with those the most as they know us the best and are often the most straight and honest. Distance should therefore be applied in doses as cutting people out completely will also not mir us happy in the long term. The key again here is doses.

We have the right to leave tricky situations to cool down or even say that at certain times we do not want to talk to certain people about certain topics. When we therefore recognise that a difficult situation might arise cause our loved ones have a bad day or mood best to not have deep conversations then and apply some distance.

Another way to handle tricky situations with loved ones without cutting them off is to not take very thing so serious and for granted what they say. These people, even if we rank their opinion highly often are not god . We need to form our own opinions from a whole variety of networks and influences. While we can appreciate the advice from people’s me close to us , we need to understand that there is not one ultimate way to success but many different ones .

Lastly, breathe - it is good to sometimes Aldi just have fun and do small talk with people. We don’t always have to chat about our deepest life plans a d get all kinds of advice. Sometimes we can just enjoy the moment with them.

In summary, going back to the quote that sometimes we need to do the hardest thing and cut ties with close ones that don’t love us and are not good for our mindset. I dint think we need to cut ties completely, but we need to distance ourselves, form our own independent opinions while we appreciate advice and even tell them we need breaks . We take their opinions in doses - and sometimes we just enjoy the moment with them.