Tell positive things to people - and positive relationships will follow eventually
Maybe this is because I am German, but my people are known for mastering the act of criticizing and moaning. We can criticize everyone and everything - what we don’t realize is that this very much opens a stream of negative energy that we can be sucked into which will make life miserable in the long term. We therefore need to break this vicious cycle by trying to appreciate people around us more and highlight their positive traits. The earlier we start the better as the more fulfilling our relationships and the responses we get from the environment will be in the future.
Criticizing people is easy. It is so easy that we all do it and some of us even enjoy doing it as it makes us feel better or above others. It is on the other hand a lot harder to highlight the positive aspects of people around us to them. Let’s take the example of our managers at work. Surely, we all have complained about them and even cursed them hundreds of times. However, when they have done something very nice or handled a situation particularly well, how often have we told them so?
What this shows is that while it is very easy to criticize, it creates tremendous damage in both our relationships but more importantly our mindset. Saying positive things to others is however very difficult for many of us but the effect we get from it and the reward we eventually receive will be tremendous. Of course, we should only pay others compliments or highlight positive attitudes when we mean them, and not have our head constantly in the clouds. This will make us seem naïve and not authentic in the eyes of others. Paying a compliment to our managers, partners and even children and appreciating them to be grateful for, can make an incredible difference to our own happiness in life.
What people very often don’t realize is while criticizing seems fun and easy, it creates increasing damage to our own mind as well and therefore influences us in a negative way as well, rather than only those we are about to criticize. Therefore, a lose - lose situation is created that affects our own happiness and the overall quality and depth of our relationships as well. The more we decided on the other hand to focus on the positivity in people and all the great things they bring to our life, the more they will learn to appreciate us and see us as people to have deep and meaningful relationships with.
The big question is, by paying people compliments and making them feel good rather than being too focused on negativity, will be ever get something back form them? That question needs to be answered on a very individual level as each person answers to appreciation and compliments differently. However, if we understand we are not only doing this for them, to be seen as authentic advisers but for our own mindset the whole thing becomes a lot more rewarding already.
We need to strike a balance therefore to be authentic, highlight negative things we don’t like, while at the same time be able to make other feel good as well as ourselves by also telling them positive attitudes them have that we very much appreciate when interacting with them. Life is too short to only focus on imperfections or the faults of others. Lets start focusing on the positive things that these people have that make them valuable assets of our lives every day. Now we just need to tell them that more often for even richer and happier relationships for both them and ourselves.
