Giving feedback is easy – but giving constructive feedback is an art in itself
We all do it every day - giving feedback. Some of us do it in a work context as leaders and managers, others give feedback to their kids as parents - we all evaluate the performance of each other and communicate our judgement - which is what feedback really is in its core. However, there is a clear difference between just giving feedback and giving great constructive and honest feedback that will truly help other to improve and get to know their strengths and weaknesses. To give constructive and useful feedback is therefore a craft to learn – as this will make the difference between our feedback having a true impact or just being empty shallow words.
As mentioned before, feedback realty is the evaluation of others and communicating the results. So far so good – the first part of evaluation is what every single one of us does every day. We all interact, talk, look at each other and our brain automatically form evaluations and judgements from that. The second part though is the trickier one – the communication of that evaluation to others. 90% of those evaluations never get communicated in this first place, which is a mistake and comes from the fact that feedback very often is associated with negative feelings of anxiety as many of us think feedback only comes if something went wrong. However, feedback whether positive or negative, should always be seen as something positive, as it is only when we receive feedback, we can improve and have an idea of how we are really doing currently in the status quo.
So really, the point to focus on is the second part of what makes feedback – how to communicate our conclusions and evaluations to others. And here lies the true difference between shallow feedback of empty words or constructive dialogue and communication that really helps people to improve their skills and discover their full potential. The good news is we can all learn how to deliver constructive feedback.
A good technique here is the so-called sandwich technique. Feedback delivery becomes less scary and intimidating if you always balance out positive and slightly negative feedback. Start with something positive, what is the person good at? Then you go into things that can be optimized but since you started on a positive note, even those slightly negative things will seem less harsh, attacking and intimidating. Lastly, finish off with a positive point and outlook. It is also good to see the person you deliver feedback to and yourself as a team who should work on things together. If you follow those steps, giving and receiving feedback becomes really an art of communication. It is not so much the what that you are communicating but the how that really makes the difference. The clue is positive, negative, positive as your feedback will have a much better effect on the person. Communicate your point calm, clear and make them really as concrete as you can.
Mastering the art of communication for feedback is not that easy but the good news is we can all learn it. The idea here is to turn feedback being perceived as often negative, into constructive, positive ways to learn and optimize to become even better in what we do every day. Through collaboration, understanding and appreciating both positive and negative feedback as well as optimizing the way we communicate it, we can really become great leaders and make a difference in people’s performance and overall journey of development and finding their true potentials. That said, practice also makes of course perfect, so start delivering some feedback 😊
